Look how blank that is. Anyways, I have a weird obsession with notebooks. I was thinking last night, if I ever published a book, and my little author bio in the back with that planned spontaneous photo would say something like this:
Margaret started to write so that she could begin to fill the collection of notebooks she had accumulated.
And then some other things about me that may or may not be true or interesting. Well, to get to the short of it, I need a new notebook so I can start my write everyday for a year thing. So... if anyone is interested -- I'm starting a new blog. Huzzah.
I'll link it, for some purpose.
For my invisible audiences.
Go team.
-- M
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Friday, June 10, 2011
Block
So, I've been having an urge to write.
I don't want to write well per se. I just want to write to get a story out.
I don't care if it makes sense, or if the characters are flat,
I just want to write to write.
Unfortunately, I don't know what to write. I have a few scenes,
but nothing that I can write about for a long period of time.
I have to learn to write everyday,
regardless of it's it crappy or not.
I don't want to write well per se. I just want to write to get a story out.
I don't care if it makes sense, or if the characters are flat,
I just want to write to write.
Unfortunately, I don't know what to write. I have a few scenes,
but nothing that I can write about for a long period of time.
I have to learn to write everyday,
regardless of it's it crappy or not.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Well, this certainly sucks...
Dot dot dot. I learned that in when we end dialogue with an ellipse, it means that the speaker is trailing off. So yes, I am trailing off there, just a wee bit. So anyways -- here's the deal. My car, my lovely little, dirty, always out of gas car had it's back window smashed in by a boulder. Yeah. Like fucking Boulder, Colorado. Now, I know the first reaction is that 'oh I bet some asshats drove by and chucked a boulder at your car.
No. It's just chilling on the back of my car like a big threat. Then again I may be reading into it because I'm a writer and that's what I do, but I don't think so. Now, let's back it up here. My car. Was vandalized. By a psycho.
Excellent. And now the other bits. Ever since I started writing more, short stories and scenes and stuff when bad things happen to me, the little writer in the back of my head says, "hey! you can make a good scene/story out of this!" And I go, "you're right!"
And now comes the part where I try to not let it get to me. It's just a window - on a car that you have. I have a car which is more than a lot of people right now, so I should be thankful for that. And it's just a window. Thankfully it's not one of my roommates or me or the dog. So...
Yeah. Good times. Should make a nice story scene some day I guess [happy-ish]
No. It's just chilling on the back of my car like a big threat. Then again I may be reading into it because I'm a writer and that's what I do, but I don't think so. Now, let's back it up here. My car. Was vandalized. By a psycho.
Excellent. And now the other bits. Ever since I started writing more, short stories and scenes and stuff when bad things happen to me, the little writer in the back of my head says, "hey! you can make a good scene/story out of this!" And I go, "you're right!"
And now comes the part where I try to not let it get to me. It's just a window - on a car that you have. I have a car which is more than a lot of people right now, so I should be thankful for that. And it's just a window. Thankfully it's not one of my roommates or me or the dog. So...
Yeah. Good times. Should make a nice story scene some day I guess [happy-ish]
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Worst Day Ever.
Sometimes we have those days. Where we wake up and try to have a good day but it seems like everything in the universe is against us. When we go to bed the night before at a respectable hour because we have plans to wake up early and be good students.
Today was one of those days.
I went to bed at 12 last night with the intention to wake up at 7:30. Pretty good amount of sleep - very good actually for a college student. And then I couldn't actually fall asleep till 4 am. So instead of 7.5 hours, I got 3.5 which was not good. So when I got up I felt like shit. When I don't get enough sleep I feel sick to my stomach. So I went to school early with the intention to buy some coffee so that my three hour class wouldn't slay me.
The things that happened:
1. I was carrying a painting kit, book of palette paper, a painting on canvas, my bag with my laptop. I went the short way to the locker room because I felt like my arms were going to fall off and it's closer to my class that way. The door was locked. I had to climb up two flights of stairs with all my heavy gear and then climb back down another two to put my stuff in my locker, then climb back up 2 flights. Usually not a big deal, but today it felt like I had to climb mountains.
2. I went to the C-store to buy coffee with my card. There was a fairly long line but I could have waited. I really didn't mind the line, nor the other pushy students needing their caffein fix. So I'm halfway through getting my coffee, about to put in some creamer when a cashier suddenly yells out - machines are down, we're only accepting cash. Cool, I'll go to an ATM right? Wrong. The ATM for my back was not with all the other ones a cool 20 yards from the C-store. Mine was up some more stairs and I swear it looked like it was halfway across campus. Plus I was already a few minutes late to class and I didn't want to be any later. So I just gave up and figured I could go it caffeine free.
3. I get to class and almost throw up. Thankfully my teacher is an angel of mercy and let me leave early.
4. I live with my roommates in a house. We're not loud, we don't throw parties, we're not disrespectful, we take care of the house very very well. But we have a neighbor who seems to have a vendetta against all college students who rent that house. He's not even a close neighbor. He lives a block away. But he has reported us for a yard citation, which we fixed. And now he's reported us for another citation. More than 4 unrelated people living in a house. Honestly I heard that that law was in place so that brothels wouldn't pop up everywhere. But now it's one of those laws that they keep around so that we don't try to fit 20 people into a three bedroom house. It's there to prevent overcrowding which is understandable. But our house has 5 bedrooms, one of which is a master bedroom. So four people have their own room and two people share the masters. There is no overcrowding at all, so I don't really see the point in that complaint.
5. I still feel sick to my stomach and I have no money in my account to buy groceries because rent is due soon and bills just breezed through and sucked me dry.
But. As I've said in an earlier post. I'm going to try and focus on the positive because really when I look at it, those aren't major things at all. Just minor problems that annoyed me more than usual because of my lack of sleep. So here are the positive things I need to look at to counterbalance my shit day.
1. My art teacher said that I have some talent when it comes to painting and that my final project sounds interesting and that she is excited to look at it. Plus she let me out early and said that she trusts me to do what I need to do. Angel of Mercy, that woman.
2. My CRWT professor said that the ending of my short story was one of the better ones of the class and that it was a very good story he is excited to read the revision for.
3. My french teacher did a practice exam for the oral final where I have to talk in french for three minutes about a subject and she said that only thing I need to work on is agreement and my accent is tres bien.
-- M
Today was one of those days.
I went to bed at 12 last night with the intention to wake up at 7:30. Pretty good amount of sleep - very good actually for a college student. And then I couldn't actually fall asleep till 4 am. So instead of 7.5 hours, I got 3.5 which was not good. So when I got up I felt like shit. When I don't get enough sleep I feel sick to my stomach. So I went to school early with the intention to buy some coffee so that my three hour class wouldn't slay me.
The things that happened:
1. I was carrying a painting kit, book of palette paper, a painting on canvas, my bag with my laptop. I went the short way to the locker room because I felt like my arms were going to fall off and it's closer to my class that way. The door was locked. I had to climb up two flights of stairs with all my heavy gear and then climb back down another two to put my stuff in my locker, then climb back up 2 flights. Usually not a big deal, but today it felt like I had to climb mountains.
2. I went to the C-store to buy coffee with my card. There was a fairly long line but I could have waited. I really didn't mind the line, nor the other pushy students needing their caffein fix. So I'm halfway through getting my coffee, about to put in some creamer when a cashier suddenly yells out - machines are down, we're only accepting cash. Cool, I'll go to an ATM right? Wrong. The ATM for my back was not with all the other ones a cool 20 yards from the C-store. Mine was up some more stairs and I swear it looked like it was halfway across campus. Plus I was already a few minutes late to class and I didn't want to be any later. So I just gave up and figured I could go it caffeine free.
3. I get to class and almost throw up. Thankfully my teacher is an angel of mercy and let me leave early.
4. I live with my roommates in a house. We're not loud, we don't throw parties, we're not disrespectful, we take care of the house very very well. But we have a neighbor who seems to have a vendetta against all college students who rent that house. He's not even a close neighbor. He lives a block away. But he has reported us for a yard citation, which we fixed. And now he's reported us for another citation. More than 4 unrelated people living in a house. Honestly I heard that that law was in place so that brothels wouldn't pop up everywhere. But now it's one of those laws that they keep around so that we don't try to fit 20 people into a three bedroom house. It's there to prevent overcrowding which is understandable. But our house has 5 bedrooms, one of which is a master bedroom. So four people have their own room and two people share the masters. There is no overcrowding at all, so I don't really see the point in that complaint.
5. I still feel sick to my stomach and I have no money in my account to buy groceries because rent is due soon and bills just breezed through and sucked me dry.
But. As I've said in an earlier post. I'm going to try and focus on the positive because really when I look at it, those aren't major things at all. Just minor problems that annoyed me more than usual because of my lack of sleep. So here are the positive things I need to look at to counterbalance my shit day.
1. My art teacher said that I have some talent when it comes to painting and that my final project sounds interesting and that she is excited to look at it. Plus she let me out early and said that she trusts me to do what I need to do. Angel of Mercy, that woman.
2. My CRWT professor said that the ending of my short story was one of the better ones of the class and that it was a very good story he is excited to read the revision for.
3. My french teacher did a practice exam for the oral final where I have to talk in french for three minutes about a subject and she said that only thing I need to work on is agreement and my accent is tres bien.
-- M
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Bad Cents
Sometimes, I need to be reminded of things. Not simple things, like take your clothes out of the dryer, or pay the utility bill. But other things. I need to be reminded why I run and why I love it. The reason I got burnt out was because I fell out of love with running. I started and stayed with it for me. I ran because I loved it and it made me happy. This past year, I was running for everyone but myself. I was running for my parents, for my teammates, for my coaches, for a scholarship, but no where on that list was me.
I also need to be reminded that I can write. Today I had a workshop for beginning fiction and I felt sick, like I was about to start a race. I had to read a passage out of it and I swear my voice was shaking. But the workshop didn't go badly. No one said, 'you suck, get out of this major.' So I don't know why I was so worried. I have to be reminded that I can write, and that I can write pretty damn well sometimes.
That is why I changed majors.
This is going to sound like a pity party right here, but it's true. I'm sure that everyone feels like this sometimes but I'm just the first to admit it on the interwebs. Sometimes I need to be reminded that I'm pretty. I'm not saying that I need to go out and fish for compliments, and I'm not saying that I'm overly gorgeous or terribly ugly. Everyone is pretty in their own right, and every once in a while, people forget about their beauty and need to be reminded. Sometimes when we stand in front of a mirror, all we see is what is wrong with us and we think that we are ugly, when in fact we are amazing creatures.
Everyone needs to be reminded of something sometimes. Everyone needs to be reminded that they are pretty, or smart, or great in their own sense. People need to be reminded about their passions. Because if we are not reminded, all we see are our own shortcomings. And soon those become the only things we focus on.
(Well shit. that sounded more preachy than I intended, but it's way better than angst angst angst, right?)
I also need to be reminded that I can write. Today I had a workshop for beginning fiction and I felt sick, like I was about to start a race. I had to read a passage out of it and I swear my voice was shaking. But the workshop didn't go badly. No one said, 'you suck, get out of this major.' So I don't know why I was so worried. I have to be reminded that I can write, and that I can write pretty damn well sometimes.
That is why I changed majors.
This is going to sound like a pity party right here, but it's true. I'm sure that everyone feels like this sometimes but I'm just the first to admit it on the interwebs. Sometimes I need to be reminded that I'm pretty. I'm not saying that I need to go out and fish for compliments, and I'm not saying that I'm overly gorgeous or terribly ugly. Everyone is pretty in their own right, and every once in a while, people forget about their beauty and need to be reminded. Sometimes when we stand in front of a mirror, all we see is what is wrong with us and we think that we are ugly, when in fact we are amazing creatures.
Everyone needs to be reminded of something sometimes. Everyone needs to be reminded that they are pretty, or smart, or great in their own sense. People need to be reminded about their passions. Because if we are not reminded, all we see are our own shortcomings. And soon those become the only things we focus on.
(Well shit. that sounded more preachy than I intended, but it's way better than angst angst angst, right?)
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Stumble Amok
That made no sense. It never does, but recently I've been on stumbleupon a lot instead of doing other things that I should be doing. I've taken a massive break from the graphics forum I'm a member of and abandoned the writing forum I'm a part of. I should probably go and claim my break so I don't get deleted.
Anyways. During my stumbling moments, I've stumbled upon this blog: Terrible Minds
Which is al kinds of funny, and all kinds of true. It's, from what I gather, a writer writing about writers. A writer writing about the ups and downs and flaws and awesomeness of being a writer, most of which I look at and say, "Oh shit, that's me." Minus the drinking cause then I'd asphyxiate and die and who would write all this nonsense for the masses to read.
Anyways. I like it. You should click the link and read it cause it's very hilarious. And if not, go to stumbleupon.com and start stumbling around. It's a great way to waste a few hours.
Anyways. During my stumbling moments, I've stumbled upon this blog: Terrible Minds
Which is al kinds of funny, and all kinds of true. It's, from what I gather, a writer writing about writers. A writer writing about the ups and downs and flaws and awesomeness of being a writer, most of which I look at and say, "Oh shit, that's me." Minus the drinking cause then I'd asphyxiate and die and who would write all this nonsense for the masses to read.
Anyways. I like it. You should click the link and read it cause it's very hilarious. And if not, go to stumbleupon.com and start stumbling around. It's a great way to waste a few hours.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
One A Day.
Is a vitamin, yes I know. So take your vitamins.
No. That isn't the reason for this. The reason for this post is because as I was laying in my room today feeling sorry for myself and my bum shin, I realized that I've been too sad lately. I need to be happy because happy things happen everyday. It's just that I've been focusing on the fact that my senior year of running has crashed and burned, but will hopefully be revived soon.
Fingers crossed.
Anyways. From now on, I shall focus on what has made me happy that day. And if I have no stories, I'll post a picture or a quote (like I've been doing) that somehow links to something that happened to me that day.
good news: had a nice chat with a couple of the roommates who always manage to cheer me up even if they don't realize they're doing it. Love them <3
No. That isn't the reason for this. The reason for this post is because as I was laying in my room today feeling sorry for myself and my bum shin, I realized that I've been too sad lately. I need to be happy because happy things happen everyday. It's just that I've been focusing on the fact that my senior year of running has crashed and burned, but will hopefully be revived soon.
Fingers crossed.
Anyways. From now on, I shall focus on what has made me happy that day. And if I have no stories, I'll post a picture or a quote (like I've been doing) that somehow links to something that happened to me that day.
good news: had a nice chat with a couple of the roommates who always manage to cheer me up even if they don't realize they're doing it. Love them <3
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