Bad Cents

Sometimes, I need to be reminded of things. Not simple things, like take your clothes out of the dryer, or pay the utility bill. But other things. I need to be reminded why I run and why I love it. The reason I got burnt out was because I fell out of love with running. I started and stayed with it for me. I ran because I loved it and it made me happy. This past year, I was running for everyone but myself. I was running for my parents, for my teammates, for my coaches, for a scholarship, but no where on that list was me.

I also need to be reminded that I can write. Today I had a workshop for beginning fiction and I felt sick, like I was about to start a race. I had to read a passage out of it and I swear my voice was shaking. But the workshop didn't go badly. No one said, 'you suck, get out of this major.' So I don't know why I was so worried. I have to be reminded that I can write, and that I can write pretty damn well sometimes.

That is why I changed majors.

This is going to sound like a pity party right here, but it's true. I'm sure that everyone feels like this sometimes but I'm just the first to admit it on the interwebs. Sometimes I need to be reminded that I'm pretty. I'm not saying that I need to go out and fish for compliments, and I'm not saying that I'm overly gorgeous or terribly ugly. Everyone is pretty in their own right, and every once in a while, people forget about their beauty and need to be reminded. Sometimes when we stand in front of a mirror, all we see is what is wrong with us and we think that we are ugly, when in fact we are amazing creatures.

Everyone needs to be reminded of something sometimes. Everyone needs to be reminded that they are pretty, or smart, or great in their own sense. People need to be reminded about their passions. Because if we are not reminded, all we see are our own shortcomings. And soon those become  the only things we focus on.


(Well shit. that sounded more preachy than I intended, but it's way better than angst angst angst, right?)