The Story of the Possessed Microwave

Well sports fans (as my dad would say) we have a predicament on our hands. The microwave at our slightly over crowded yet wonderful apartment is possessed by demons. Well, it could be possessed by angels but I've never heard about angels possessing anything. So I have come to the conclusion that it's demons in our microwave.

Or someone just wants to cut off our source of heating food and starve us to death.

Either way we don't have a microwave at the moment because it's been unplugged. When it is plugged in it started beeping randomly and creepily, like it's being strangled mid-beep. Then one time it turned on... ALL BY ITSELF!

OHMYGODWHATTHEFRACKBARBEQUE!

I remember I was microwaving some wonderful frozen dinner and while it was rotating and heating the microwave turned off, did it's little strangled beep thing, then turned back on.

Now that I think about it some more, and let it marinade in my head, I think that there's an alien spaceship that's been stranded in our solar system and have transmitted their SOS signal across the Milky Way in an effort to gain our help. And our microwave is picking up the distress signal and WE HAVE TO SAVE THEM!

Or I've been watching too much Star Trek.

Conspiracy theories are welcome.

Or any ideas on why our microwave is malfunctioning.

But conspiracy theories make me smile.