You, sir, are an elephant.

Elephants are the only animal physically unable to jump. This is because of their enormous weight.


"Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious." -Brendan Gill

"With a stop light, green means `go` and yellow means `slow down`. With a banana, however, it is quite the opposite. Yellow means `go`, green means `whoa, slow down`, and red means `where the heck did you get that banana?` " - Mitch Hedberg




I like to think I am clever and witty [insert wink here]